According to Behrendt, the too-busy-to-call, just-out-of-a-relationship, strong-women-intimidate-me, but-it-was-just-sex-with-her, and other imaginable excuses men come up with, only mean that the man isn't that into the woman. Because if a man is really into a woman, he'll decently come through no matter what (miss Sassy - The Jakarta Post)

---ring...ring---

Ya?
Sorry for waking you up, but I really need to blurt it out.
Huh?
Actually, I’m tired of analyzing what’s going on between me and my boyfriend. I always tell myself that the problem starts from me. It’s me..me.. me.., I am being exaggerated or too demanding, that’s why I’ve been trying to swallow everything.
Err..
But the problem is, I still feel something is not right here.
Hm?
He rarely tries to contact me, I believe if I don’t call and/or text him messages first just to say hello, he won’t contact me at all.
Eh?
Probably, if one day I get into hospital or get accident or something bad happens to me, he’ll be the last one to know.
Oooh..
It makes me wondering: what am I to him? And why do I feel it’s only me who wants to keep in touch with him, to shorten the distance? I mean come on; the only problem that usually happens to long distance relationship is lack of communication, right? Now, what I’m trying to do is to avoid that.
Err..
The last time he went here, he promised to tell me whenever he’s on the way; you know what? I’ve found out that he’s already here AFTER I texted him message, he said he was in one cafe and going to drop his friends off somewhere and gonna call me after the hang-out-thingy.
Hah?
Argh! You know what, even my brother, or mom, or dad, when they're in a trip, they would -at least once- told me where they were by sending me a simple message, like : “Bo, duh, macet amat ya?" or "mo oleh-oleh apa?"
Hu-uh.
He seems to care about his friends more. Two cases : first one, he called his friend just to make sure that this friend arrived home safely. Has he ever done that to me? Never. The other one is he was busy to call his friend who has problem in her marriage life; he attempted to call her in the night until the morning after. Okay, he’s every girls’ best friend, but why can’t he be my bestfriend?
Err.
I hate when his cell phone beeps when he is with me, because after that he'll surely say, "Honey, sorry, it's duty call, aku harus ngerjain project-ku". No, I'm okay with that IF that's not weekend and I meet him only once in a month
Err..
When I feel frustrated and try to tell what I feel or crying in despair, he only says “Jadi maunya kamu aku gimana?” and he remains silent and staring at me. He’s not even trying to calm me down. The last time I cried, he said “Kamu kok jadi cengeng gini sih?”. Doh!
Hm?
When I try to find out what’s going on, he rarely responds, he keeps saying, “I love you…” or doing things that distract my concentration.
Huh?
We chat about many things, but we never discuss about OUR relationship – I know he's smart enough to sense that we don’t have a healthy relationship here, or at least feel that there's lack of something in our relationship
Hmmm?
...and it IS wrong, isn't it? But we never discuss bout it.
Ok.
I start to feel tired with “I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable..”,”aku nggak maksud gitu” – but the days after, nothing changes at all.
Hmm.
I’m sick with “Sorry, aku emang lagi sibuk banget, hectic banget nih, jadi sorry ya, kalo aku nggak bisa merhatiin kamu.”. Helloooo… He’s not the busiest man in the whole world, right? I don’t ask him to take me to the mall or pick me up from the office or taking me to the beauty salon, I just want him to make me feeling exist. Oh okay, he keeps saying that I AM exist, so why doesn’t he just SHOW it?
Huh?
I really feel uncomfortable – it starts to annoy me. According to what I’ve read and discussed with a couple friends, IF we feel annoyed, neglected, uncomfortable, miserable, and that continues, it’s an emotional abuse already.
Hm?
He was once used to be a fun guy to be with, he knew well how to make me blush, how to make my heart skip a beat, how to brighten up my gloomy days, how to blow my mind.
Heh?
*sigh* Probably, winning a girl’s heart is only one of those life competitions for him, after getting the ‘trophy’, he’ll keep it in the darkest corner of his shelf.
Hmmm
Suddenly I feel….. he’s just not into me
Huh?
I dunno, I tried not to believe it.
Hmmm…
Or…May be that’s the way he is?
Iki sopo tokh? Ngomong opo tokh? Aku ndak ngerti, Mbak…
Hah?
Yo wis yo?

---tooot---tooot--tooot---