a little DEEP THOUGHTS

Bandung, inside my cozy room, 00.05 am, october 22, 2002

After all I've been thru in my life, suddenly these questions flashed in my mind,

"what do I live for?"
hhehe.. Nggaaak.. nggaaak.. bukan pertanyaan mo commit suicide kok.. .
I believe I was born in this world for a reason... but, until now, I can not find what is HIS plan for me.... Funny, a lot of people try hard to find what are the substances of their life, while I don't.. at all... I always let my life flows just like that.. I do what I want (and what I want always depends on my mood, and when I stumble or fall, I'll get up and continue flowing.... I rarely think about the past (that's why all my friends keep cursing me for not learning from the past's mistakes!)

"What have I done in my life?"
Wells, I've done a lot of things.. from the foolish ones to the smartest.. (eh, pernah gak ya gue ngelakuin hal cerdas?hehehe).... But all I know, two things that influences me to decide .... one: the thought that I have to be 'someone', I mean, people around me should admit that I'm existed.... and the second is the thought that I have to make people around me happy.... and back to the 1st question.... is making people happy one of HIS plan for my life? SUddenly I remember.... that several days a go, I got sms from my beloved sister , I grabbed my mobile phone and open my inbox.....

The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are, but on how happy others can be because of you...

I dunno, I feel like this sms is just like an answer.... THX SISTA!

Friends, Do I make you all happy?
Sometime I'm selfish (yes, I know) and self centered.... sometime I make people sad.... I wish, I could do better to make all of you, guys.. as happy as you can be.....

Am I grateful enough for living as me?
Ehm, sometime I'm not... but I've seen many things that proof there are still a lot of ppl out there who are not as lucky as I am.... so I should say million thank you, because He has given me a chance to live as Okke.....

And, suddenly I felt so sleepy, so I closed the 'thinking time' with a simple prayer:

Dear God...
Thanks for my life
Thanks for my family
Thanks for all good friends I have
Thanks for my school
Thanks for my job and Thanks for my students too ;) (promise not to complain too much bout them)
Thanks for all moments I've passed, good ones and bad ones....
Thanks for everything, AMEN!

Heheheh.. sudah cukup mikir sedikit dalemnya! back to the real me! hehehehehe...