Have you ever felt lonely, Ke?
I went out with my jr high's friend.. actually he's my puppy love.. so for the ol time's sake.. we hang out and had dinner together.
We chatted a lot.... He works in entertainment field, from the way he talks, the way he dresses, i saw him as a big city guy, who loves uhm.. big city's activities..... he changed.... and he also said that I changed a lot.... we become a two different personalities.. but well, i enjoyed being with him.. we had a quite great time together..
He was amazed to listen to my East Timor trip stories, he asked me," how can you live without civilization like that?" hee? what about living far from civilization? i don't get it... I survived and came back safely...anyway....
Then he asked me,"have you ever felt lonely,Ke?" I was stunned... lonely? in what way? the only thing that make me feel lonely is when I am being left home alone.. but off course I can handle it, just dial some friends phone number and... the feeling lonely is dissapeared..... (tapi bikin tagihan telpon naik..heheh.. maab,Mah!)...
He told me, that he often feel so lonely even in the middle of the crowd,( I actually don't get it.. and still think about it until now )... and he said that if the feeling pops out, million questions appear in his mind.. like the substance of life... then he'll try hard to find out the answers, and when he finds none.... he'll make a conclusion.... that there's no point of life.. so why should he alives? I wonder, what is he gonna do if he faces problems and find no solutions? rentan bunuh diri banget gak sih? atau... at least rentan ngelakuin pelarian yang aneh-aneh gak sih?
Ahhh.... kenapa sih ada orang yang suka mikir aneh-aneh gitu? gue pikir banyak orang-orang yang kayak gitu.... tinggal ditengah keramaian but feeling empty inside.... they go to crowded place like night clubs or discoteques or sumpthin', and think that they could fill their empty soul... ah! Or may be they're not grateful enough to be alive? or they just don't realize that life is beautiful? I don't know why..... Atau mereka jenis orang yang suka make otak terlalu maksimal.. jadi apa-apa dipikirin.... ? (gak kayak gue, minimalist brain user, si males mikir..hihih) ...ah tau ah!